This week on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we’ve discussed friendship in the context of self care, first sharing Dr. Gottman’s guide to recognizing bids, and second by providing you with a list of ways to strengthen friendships with a little TLC! Today, as promised, we add a list of concrete ways to connect with your friends, written by Dr. Gottman himself:
Activities To Build Connection:
- Visit one another.
- Commute.
- Exercise.
- Volunteer.
- Share gossip, jokes, and news via email.
- Phone one another often.
- Form a group of friends who share a common hobby or interest, like a book club. Meet regularly. When you can’t get together, discuss your common interests online.
- Confide in one another.
- Keep each other’s secrets.
- Swap baby-sitting, pet-sitting, house-sitting.
- Trade big favors like helping one another paint the house, move residences, or build a deck.
- Celebrate one another’s successes.
- Host a party for a mutual friend.
- Share hugs, handshakes, pats on the back.
- Cry together.
- Be there for the big events in one another’s lives –kids’ weddings, parents’ funerals, serious illnesses.
- Collaborate on a project.
- Show one another your baby pictures.
- Pray or meditate together.
No single relationship can meet all your emotional needs. In fact, it would be a mistake to invest that much expectation into any relationship, including marriage. It’s better instead to focus on building congenial bonds with a variety of people who bring different gifts into your life. That way, you can revel in your friendships with a diverse group of friends!
Have a great weekend,
Ellie Lisitsa
TGI Staff